What I learned over summer vacation

So under-employment (I have been working sporadically) continues.  In the past 8 months, I’ve had about 10 interviews, some of which went very well and some of which were border-line disaster and NONE of which lead to a job offer.  So what have I learned in this process?

1.  I’ve got too much experience.  For one gig, the interviews went ASTONISHINGLY well.  I even keep in touch with one of the partners that I met.  But in the end, they decided to go for a junior associate (with 3 months of experience) instead of a mid-level associate.

2.  I don’t have enough experience.  My most recent interview, last week, also went pretty well.  We hit it off, I got a good vibe, and had my fingers crossed all weekend.  Monday, I get a call saying that they went with someone with more experience.  Bugger.

3.  I’m too aggressive.  That was a feedback comment I got last week, from a New Yorker, after I interviewed for a teaching position.  I can only laugh…

4.  I’m not aggressive enough?  This is surmise based upon one interview that went really, really well and then… radio silence.  After following up with calls and emails for over a month, I finally just gave up on hearing back from them.

I keep reminding myself that something will pan out, that something will turn up, that I’m on the verge of something great.  It’s just getting harder and harder to believe…

Dream kitchen

I’m watching Divine Design.  I wish I could find a Candice Olsen clone in Chicago (although I did read a rumor that her first sewer, Edmund, moved here last year).  Since I’m almost finished with the bedrooms, I’m now free to dream about the kitchen.  In the past 4 years, the only thing we’ve done to the kitchen was paint it.  While that did help make it much more attractive, that did nothing to enhance its functionality.  At this point, I’ve got a few ideas on what I do and don’t want…  and I figure this space is as good as any to jot down a few ideas for the future.  Keeping in mind that I’m not interested in a drastic change (and the drastic costs associated with such changes), I think I want:

• almost anything but stainless steel appliances (so normal nowadays)…  I’m still quite taken with Jenn Aire’s floating glass black appliances.
• almost anything but granite countertops (again, too common, but more importantly, the stuff is too hard on our place settings!).  I keep changing my mind between cladding the current countertops with copper (a lovely, cost-effective trick we encountered in Arizona) and butcher block countertops.
• I do like having an undermount sink.
• I’d *love* to have a counter-depth, French door fridge.
• I’m also lusting after a Bosch dishwasher.
• While I’m at it, a gas range w/ continuous grates would be a lovely upgrade.  Oh, and an attractive range hood (instead of a microwave).
• One thought that keeps popping in my head: demo the pantry and laundry closets, extend our countertops along that wall to create a u-shaped kitchen, and fit in the laundry appliances underneath the new countertops.
• pull out drawers in lieu of our standard lower cabinets, self-closing of course!
• We need room for cookbooks!  Also a sensible spot for our laptops, for those instances when we cook based off a recipe online.
• a spot for recycling and composting would be lovely.
• oh, and room for a large (100+ bottle) wine fridge would be ideal.

Yeah, it’s a dream list.  Pretty much like my last couple of posts.  But if I stopped dreaming, what would I do with myself?

Long winter + House Hunters = second home fantasies

Yes, yes, yes: first I need to be re-employed.

Still, this never-ending winter makes me fantasize about locations that I would never, EVER seriously consider when the weather is decent.  Florida, the Caribbean, Canary Islands, Southern California…  all sound gloriously warm  and appealing right now.

Of course, the obvious question: if I was someplace warm and sunny right now, what would I do?  I don’t like the heat THAT much, so how much time would I actually spend outside?  I’d hang out for maybe an afternoon, then get very bored.

If this winter doesn’t freakin’ end soon though, a weekend in a warm locale might be in the cards — screw unemployment!

Dreaming of home…

When I was 15 or 16, I made a wishlist of the qualities I wanted in a partner.  (Precocious, I know.)  Lo and behold, 3 or 4 years later, I found him.  Seriously.  Chris hit every check box.  Plus we’ve always had that… je ne sais quoi.  Magic.  Chemistry.  Spark.  Whatever you want to call it.  We never were in that “friend zone.”  There was just no point.

So now, I thought I’d write a list of everything I want a home.  Maybe seeing it in black and white will knock some sense in me and make me appreciate what’s underneath my very nose!

If I was starting from scratch on a home search, what would I want?  (And what do I know Chris would require?)  And how does our current reality stack up to the wish list?

• Location, location, location.  Chicago (of course), established neighborhood (with shops, restaurants and park space), within half mile away from the L, express buses would be nice…

Dear god, it’s hard to think of a more perfect location.  4 miles from the Loop, a stone’s throw from the lake, great public trans access, plenty of iGo cars within walking distance, kickass restaurants and local shops, RIDICULOUSLY good access to mulitple grocery stores, a library less than a quarter-mile away.  Heck, our Walk Score is 100!  About the only thing that’s missing is a cute little bakery.

• Building type: condo or townhouse.

Much as I daydream about a single family home, the reality is that neither one of us is interested in house maintenance.  I like the idea of a yard (gardening space!), but exterior maintenance does not appeal to either one of us.  So the fact that we have a condo is A-OK.

• Master bedroom with ensuite bathroom.

So not a problem now.  I just repainted our ensuite bathroom.

• A music room for Chris.

Check.  His room is pretty well located too – none of our neighbors can hear him and I can barely hear him in most of the house.

• A great room: room for books, A/V system, comfy furniture…

We’ve got one, but it’s a bit snug.  More like a “good room.”  Our dining space is TINY and I don’t think it’s particularly comfortable.

• Room for guests.

I’m working on that right now, creating a guest room/library/office/stitching room with an outdoor patio.  I’m hoping that we’ll actually use that freakin’ patio this summer if we use the adjoining room for “public” purposes.

• Room for “me” space: something girly, room for crafts, office, tea kettle.

See above.  The room isn’t going to be too girly, but there’s definitely going to be pretty touches.  Need to nab an electric kettle though.

• A “real” kitchen.  Decently sized, preferably with sunny outdoor space just off the kitchen for easy access to my kitchen garden.  A granite-free zone.

Nope.  Our kitchen is tiny, with limited counter space made of granite.  No direct access to an outdoor space.  The kitchen window faces north, so I can’t even grow herbs on the window sill.

• Speaking of which, outdoor space.  Big enough for Chris’ grill, table & chairs, a veggie/herb garden and a flower garden.  Oh, and a composter.

Check… sorta.  We’ve got two outdoor spaces, so there’s enough room for Chris’ grill, a table and couple of chairs and I’ve had good luck growing herbs over the past few years.  But all this is squished onto our not-sunny-enough-for-my-taste balcony, while our patio languishes from neglect.  It’s dark, inconveniently located, and just feels dirty.  My goal this year: create an attractive space on our patio so that we actually use it!  And I’m trying to figure out how to best compost in our space.  And I’m adding veggies to the mix this year.

• In unit laundry.  Preferably with room for side-by-side units.

We’ve got stacked laundry units in the kitchen.  With some demo work (and the elimination of the pantry) we would have room for side-by-side, but that’s not happening any time soon.

• Central air w/ A/C

Check.  Chris wouldn’t have bought a place without central air.  I do think the energy efficiency of our system is quite suspect and I’d prefer radiant heating downstairs, but it’ll do until we get around to rehauling the system (4-5 years from now?).

• At least 1.1 bathrooms, preferably 2.1 bathrooms.  I’d love a spacious master bathroom with a large shower, dual sinks, water efficient fixtures.  ZERO jacuzzi tubs — such a pain to clean — but a soaking tub would be lovely.  Clawfooted and cast iron (so that it hold in heat) would be ideal.

Three full bathrooms… which means one extra tub to clean.  And that extra tub is a jacuzzi tub.  And none of those tubs are soaking/clawfooted/cast iron.  No water efficient features except for low-flow showerheads.  All three bathrooms are super tiny.  Layout is less than ideal because the only bathroom on the living area is our master bathroom, which means guests need to trek downstairs for one of the guest baths.  Still, I’d prefer to have too many bathrooms than not enough.  I wouldn’t like to go back to one bathroom.

• Parking (since we capitulated and bought a freakin’ car in January), attached but in the alley (I HATE garages that face the street)

We bought our place thinking we wouldn’t buy another car and therefore didn’t plunk down for a parking space.  Fortunately, I don’t drive the car so I don’t deal with parking, so I’m not heartbroken over the lack of this feature.  Chris has been having fantastic parking luck (*knock on wood*), so he’s not too heartbroken either.

• CHARACTER.  Vintage charm.  That “Oh My God” reaction.  A historical landmark would be ideal.

Our place is cute.  A courtyard, brick building with exposed brick and hardwood floors.  We’ve painted it with wonderful, dramatic colors.  But I think it’s a bit of a “yawn” — it just doesn’t make my heart stop.  It’s not completely blah — it’s not a vanilia box — but there’s nothing really vintage-ish about it, nothing really special. There’s no grace, no elegance, no va-va-voom.  This deficiency is easily the biggest reason why I’m not happy and why Chris is.

• Fireplace.  Woodburning w/ gas start.

After months of arguing, I finally agreed to rip out our fireplace.  It was over-sized for our tiny living room and NOT woodburning (or as Chris would say, not “real”).  There’s no hope for a “real” fireplace here.

• Multi-story.  It’s probably the last vestige of suburban upbringing left in me, but stairs make a condo feel more “house” like.  That and we have a fat cat that needs to get as much exercise as possible.

Check.  Our first condo was two-stories, then we rented an apartment for a little while that was single-story… I missed the multi-story aspect.  One of the major attractions of our current place is the fact that it’s two-stories as well.

In the end, this little exercise didn’t do much but confirm why I’m not in love with our current place, why it’s perfect for Chris.  Furthermore, part of what would make a place perfect for me is that Chris is happy and given the geographical limitations… I have a feeling that what I want doesn’t exist.

So I’m spending this extra time redecorating our place, rearranging furniture, and making the best of a cute place…

Marriage, civil unions

I’m surprised by how often my thoughts on marriage has lead me to blog, considering how infrequently I blog.  Generally speaking, I’m a big believer in choice.  I love what’s happening in Vermont, Iowa, New Hampshire, DC.  I believe that marriage, civil unions, and covenant marriages should be available to those who want them.  If you can find a minister/rabbi/priest/justice/etc. who’s willing to unite you in whatever belief system you like, more power to you.

Now, I recognize that I’m incredibly lucky to have found the right person so early in life.  I’m lucky that that person was of the opposite sex such that our relationship has been recognized by law for over nine years.  Nevertheless, I feel shoehorned into the institution of marriage.  It’s the closest thing available to us right now that affords us the multitude of protections on both the state and federal level.  I’m intrigued that Illinois House Bill 2234 would give us the opportunity to divorce and civilly unite… except that we’d be voluntarily stripping ourselves of a myriad of federal protections.  (And since I’m not on good terms with his mother and he’s not on good terms with mine, there’s no way that I’m risking my position as his #1 go-to person in terms of access during a medical emergency or decision making power and I’m not risking his position as such either.)  I resent that our relationship must be defined, under federal law, under such terms.

I don’t think that “marriage for all” is the right answer if that’s the exclusive answer.  I’ve never been comfortable MARRIED to Chris.  There’s all sorts of religious and social baggage associated with the institution that I’d personally rather not support.  But it’s all we’ve got right now.  And even if Illinois does pass the Civil Union bill, while I think we’d be tempted to go for it, I don’t think we would.  Because under the current state of the law, CUs are second-class unions.  There’s just no way around that.

The day we can better define our union, without risking the rights we currently enjoy, will be a day to celebrate.  In the meantime, today (and last Friday) are milestones towards true equality — and that’s nothing to sneeze at either.

New era…

Shoulda blogged yesterday.  Yes, I’m thrilled it’s official.  Yes, I’m thrilled that I actually have a connection to the guy.  No, it’s not that strong of one.  But it’s enough of a connection to know that we, as a nation, are truly blessed.

Despite it all, however, all I feel now is trepidation.  Better than shame, embarassment, or dread though.

One opinion formed, another brewing…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/15/israel-shells-un-headquar_n_158078.html

If the UN’s position holds, Israel has lost my support.  Not that Israel care about my support…

But now I don’t know what to make of this site: http://www.eightmaps.com/

Andrew Sullivan makes one excellent point in responding to someone complaining about this map:

You can only shame people if they feel ashamed. And, frankly, if you have chosen to strip civil rights from some of your employees, why should you be able to protect yourself from the consequences? Your employees weren’t protected from the consequences of your decision. You helped force them into legal divorce – and you’re the victim here?

But he’s also a bit shortsighted:

…I don’t get the fear. If Prop 8 supporters truly feel that barring equality for gay couples is vital for saving civilization, shouldn’t they be proud of their financial support? Why don’t they actually have posters advertizing their support for discriminating against gay people – as a matter of pride?

Majority-oppressors SHOULD fear minority-oppressed.  The abuse that such a majority imposes upon a minority SHOULD create a breeding ground for fear, violence and distrust that goes both ways.  I’m not sold on the idea that these maps truly stimulate discussion and positive engagement rather than simply pointing the finger and building walls.

On the other hand, I also value information, this information is and should be publicly available, and frankly, I’d personally want to know if there are businesses I should go out of my way to support or avoid.  Money is speech and while any homophobe can spend his or her money as he or she sees fit, I don’t have to contribute/support/facilitate that spending.  Information is key to directing my funds as efficiently and as positively as possible.

Israel, Gaza, Hamas… Oh My!

I don’t know what to think.  Of course any sovereign nation has the right to defend itself.  That isn’t the issue.  The question is how a nation defends itself.  And I gotta say, is anyone comfortable with targeting schools?  I like how Andrew Sullivan put it:

To put it bluntly: dead Palestinian children, we can all agree, do not help Israel, even if you were to ascribe moral responsibility for every single one to Hamas.

Happy Thanksgiving

Reviving an old tradition…  we’re truly fortunate and it’s always a good idea to give thanks.  Even if you don’t know to whom you’re giving thanks.  Lots of superlatives are coming, but that’s just because I’m an opinionated jerk sometimes.  :)

I’ve got the best life partner in the world.  Who just brought me a chocolate croissant.  No matter what lies ahead, I know we’ve got a rock-solid foundation.

We’ve got a beautiful home in the most kick-ass neighborhood of the greatest city in the United States.

We’ve got the most adorable, well-behaved kitty.

I’ve got a job I love… most days.

We’ve got a president-elect worthy of respect and admiration.

I’ve re-established old ties this year and I’m delighted to find so many old friends doing so well.

And thank goodness for all our friends and family, both rediscovered and never lost!

I’m thankful for the little things too:

• I love my iPhone.
• I love this new sweater I just picked up (it’s soft, warm, and makes me look skinny!)
• I’m still tickled pink by our A/V system in the living room!
• I love my eye doctor’s office in an interior design store — they’ve got the coolest glasses in this city.

Anyone want to swap houses?

I love our neighborhood.  I can’t imagine living anywhere else.  

I appreciate the goodies of our home.  We’ve got plenty of space, more bathrooms than we could possibly use, and tons of “extras” that we’d never want to live without: plenty of outdoor spaces, brick walls, exposed beams, hardwood floors, two-floor living, in-unit washer dryer, central air.  I’ve yet to see a home in our neighborhood that comes close to what we already have at the price we paid.

So why am I constantly dissatisfied with it?  It’s not that I want a HOUSE – that would just be a royal PITA.  As is, we love the low maintenance of our outdoor spaces.  What would I do with a yard?  (Other than shamefully neglect it?)  

Yet…

I crave sunlight!  Age!  Character!  Beauty!  Proportions!  Elegance!  Tin ceilings, wide hallways, crown molding, antique built-ins, wood-burning fireplaces, 13+ foot ceilings…  I want something that takes my breath away every time I walk up to my home.  We once had that… in the wrong neighborhood.  And frankly, I haven’t seen much that passes my “curb appeal” test in our neighborhood.  

So where does that leave me?  I think all this means that I want to live in a Kenwood house, preferably at Kenwood prices, but in my neighborhood.  Which is pretty much the same as wanting the moon.